I just got back from a ten day trip in Puerto Rico. It was beautiful, and great to connect with my partner’s family while on vacation there, but it also had it’s challenges.
I got sick in the last few days, and arrived back home recovering from a cold. Luckily my voice and body was strong for our beautiful Spring Equinox Retreat, but the next day, I lost my voice.
I struggled with losing my voice, feeling uncomfortable in my body, and trying to catch up on work from being away.
I began leaning on my partner a lot without realizing it – he was doing all the dishes, cooking, making teas and tinctures for me to get better, and providing emotional support as my body healed.
Then, last night he left the house to see a friend. Standing alone in my kitchen, I began to cry. I was upset about how long my body was taking to heal and that I was suddenly all alone in my struggle. My partner was doing what he could to help, but I realized I was putting a lot of my needs all on one person.
I then grabbed my phone and wrote one of the most vulnerable texts I had ever sent. It was to three of my local girlfriends, I wrote, “Hey sisters, I could use some support tonight, if you’re available please come visit me, I’m struggling with being sick and feeling isolated.”
At first, I heard no response, and I started to feel so vulnerable. I worried, “Am I being too direct? Am I being an inconvenience? I hope they don’t think I’m a burden.”
Then I realized, it didn’t matter if they came or not, but it actually felt so good just to reach out. Just in my reaching out, I was giving them permission to reach out and do the same when they are in need.
Every time we reach out to a sister when we’re in need, we give her permission to do the same. tweet it
It turned out none of them were available to come over and help me, but I felt their presence and lots of love flooded in to me in the form of words and pictures as they held space for me. They wrote things like, “I’m so glad you know you can reach out like this.” “I can come over first thing in the morning…” and “I made an altar for you and am sending love…” It was beautiful. I wasn’t an inconvenience at all.
I was inspired to reach out because other women have felt safe reaching out to me. And in my sharing, I hope to inspire you to feel safe in doing the same.
A Course in Miracles teaches us to make our friendships more romantic, and our romances more friendly. When we even the field of our relationships like this, we take the pressure off just having only one person to lean on in our life, making all of our relationships healthier.
Now, what about you: Do you have any relationships in your life you may be leaning on too much?
How could you lighten the load and create more of a support structure around you in your life?
I’d love to hear in the comments below.