Lessons on alone-ness and community

My natural tendency in life is to retreat.  To be by myself.  This has always felt most safe for me.  I savor time alone and find much comfort in it. However, this past month has really asked me to step outside of my comfort zone.  

I chose to spend a lot of time on my own earlier this month and soon learned it wasn't serving me, especially when I had some difficult emotions come up.

When that happens, I often turn to my yoga and meditation practice.  But sometimes yoga and meditation just isn't enough.  

Sometimes I need to be held in community, in friendship, and especially in sisterhood.

I sat on my couch a couple weeks ago with two dear friends and told them about how it was for me having so much time alone while my partner was away for two weeks.

One of my friends Kevin shared, "If you're only relying on one person in your life, it's like you're standing on top of a flagpole.  That's a lot of pressure on one person, especially if his or her life is calling him or her to be elsewhere." 

I imagined myself standing on top of a flagpole, shaky and worried of falling.

He continued, "However, if you become like a spider, with many legs supporting you, it's okay if one of them takes a break.  You still have seven other legs to lean on." 

When you are supported in all directions, your weight is evenly distributed.  It is so much healthier.

I think it's really easy to get swept up in relying on just one person for our emotional, physical and mental needs.

However, when we create more structures of support through friendships, therapy, coaching, healers, and especially in community, we can really thrive.

So this is what I'm working on in my life right now:  becoming the spider.  Creating those levels of support around me so my weight can always be easily distributed.

It hasn't always been easy.  I see it takes being vulnerable.  It takes reaching out even when my tendency is to retreat.  It takes stepping outside of my comfort zone and sharing all of myself. 

Through it all though, I see I need to do this for myself to uphold my vision for Rising Women Leaders.  I am creating layers of support for women to live at their highest potential.  To heal, lead, teach and rise up as their highest selves.  I am creating a safe space for women to lean on each other and feel safe in sharing who they really are. 

Have you ever found yourself swept up and leaning mostly on one person?  Did a time ever come where that person couldn't physically or emotionally be there for you?

What could you do to more evenly distribute support in your life? I'd love to hear in the comments.

There's only one more day to apply for early pricing in the Rising Women Leaders Bali Retreat.  The retreat is more than half full with an amazing group of women joining together for 7 days of yoga, self-love, sisterhood and leadership.

I will honor the $200 off pricing for all applications received before midnight today, December 1.

If you are seeking this kind of support and community in your life, I invite you to apply here. 

With love, Meredith